The Writer’s Voice – #97 FROSTY

The Writer’s Voice Entry #97

Thank you to Krista, Cupid, Monica, and Brenda.

Title: FROSTY
Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
Word Count: 52,000 words

Query

Sometimes you have to freeze everyone out to avoid getting burned.

Sydney’s had seven foster families in seven years. Almost everybody in her life has let her down, including her crack addicted mother. Sydney refuses to get close to anyone, pushing away those who attempt to befriend her. Now she is moving on to her next family, the Claytons. She knows immediately that she won’t fit in with their extravagant life and their spoiled daughter Brooke.

Sydney resents the snobby kids at her new school, especially Brooke’s boyfriend Corbin. Sydney thinks Corbin is just like all the other overprivileged kids; but he’s hot and she can’t help being attracted to him, even as she hates him. When Sydney finds Brooke and another girl naked on the floor, she learns that Corbin is helping keep their secret in exchange for Brooke’s help. Sydney’s frozen exterior begins to thaw when Corbin admits he can hardly read or write—the reason why Brooke is helping him.

Corbin likes Sydney, but Brooke refuses to let him go because she is terrified that everyone will discover she’s gay. But even if Brooke breaks up with Corbin, Sydney doubts it will ever work with him. And really… if her own mom had given up on life, had given up on Sydney, how could anyone else ever truly love her?

First 250

My ears tingled from the biting wind and swirling snow, but I stayed outside to smoke. The caseworker thought I was nuts, but I liked the cold. It numbed me… relaxed me. Besides, I couldn’t smoke inside—those were the rules.

After finishing a second cigarette, my nerves were calm. Jim pulled up in a dark Mercedes. Cool—none of my former foster families were wealthy. I met him and Lana a week ago, but not their daughter Brooke. This time the caseworker suggested placing me in a foster family with a teenage girl. As if me and Brooke would be close friends, and my senior year would be the best ever. I was smart enough to know that would never happen. My goal was to get through these last six months with the Claytons, and I’d be on my own.

The light spilled out of Jim’s car, and he opened his mouth to say something. Instead, he shook his head and laid his hand on my shoulder, guiding me inside.

“Good evening, Sydney,” he said once we reached the door.

Um, not really, Jim. Kind of crappy outside. Didn’t you notice the blizzard?

We sat down to do some paperwork, and Jim wrinkled up his nose. He must not be a smoker. I checked out the bare gray room as the caseworker shuffled through a stack of papers. Why did these meetings always take place in dark and dreary rooms? Didn’t they have enough light bulbs around here?

28 Responses

  1. Hey, stopping by to wish good luck! This is a realistic story, and I like the new perpective you take on a high school story. Good luck with the contest!

    SC (#159)

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  3. Still think this one deserves a pick. Suzi, I rewrote my 250 words — too late for the competition, but if you had a minute to look at it, I’d love your comments. Hope I’m not imposing– thank you!
    Anne #102

  4. Melodie

    Great premises – definitely not a lot of YA deals with kids in foster homes AND realizing a person is gay. There’s definitely a market for this. Good luck, Suzi!!

  5. I WANT YOU! LOOOVE THIS!

    I just have a few suggestions on it, but I really like the concept here! Also, a bit worried about the wc being a tad low! Could you raise it a bit. I’ve heard anything under 55,000 is a novella.

    But great! It’s great! Please join my team!!!!!

    1. Thank you so much. I am so excited for this contest.

      Adding words. Probably not a problem. Usually I’m a little on the long side. 🙂

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