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The Writer’s Voice – #97 FROSTY

May 3, 2012 by Suzi

The Writer’s Voice Entry #97

Thank you to Krista, Cupid, Monica, and Brenda.

Genre: Contemporary Young Adult
Word Count: 52,000 words


Sometimes you have to freeze everyone out to avoid getting burned.

Sydney’s had seven foster families in seven years. Almost everybody in her life has let her down, including her crack addicted mother. Sydney refuses to get close to anyone, pushing away those who attempt to befriend her. Now she is moving on to her next family, the Claytons. She knows immediately that she won’t fit in with their extravagant life and their spoiled daughter Brooke.

Sydney resents the snobby kids at her new school, especially Brooke’s boyfriend Corbin. Sydney thinks Corbin is just like all the other overprivileged kids; but he’s hot and she can’t help being attracted to him, even as she hates him. When Sydney finds Brooke and another girl naked on the floor, she learns that Corbin is helping keep their secret in exchange for Brooke’s help. Sydney’s frozen exterior begins to thaw when Corbin admits he can hardly read or write—the reason why Brooke is helping him.

Corbin likes Sydney, but Brooke refuses to let him go because she is terrified that everyone will discover she’s gay. But even if Brooke breaks up with Corbin, Sydney doubts it will ever work with him. And really… if her own mom had given up on life, had given up on Sydney, how could anyone else ever truly love her?

First 250

My ears tingled from the biting wind and swirling snow, but I stayed outside to smoke. The caseworker thought I was nuts, but I liked the cold. It numbed me… relaxed me. Besides, I couldn’t smoke inside—those were the rules.

After finishing a second cigarette, my nerves were calm. Jim pulled up in a dark Mercedes. Cool—none of my former foster families were wealthy. I met him and Lana a week ago, but not their daughter Brooke. This time the caseworker suggested placing me in a foster family with a teenage girl. As if me and Brooke would be close friends, and my senior year would be the best ever. I was smart enough to know that would never happen. My goal was to get through these last six months with the Claytons, and I’d be on my own.

The light spilled out of Jim’s car, and he opened his mouth to say something. Instead, he shook his head and laid his hand on my shoulder, guiding me inside.

“Good evening, Sydney,” he said once we reached the door.

Um, not really, Jim. Kind of crappy outside. Didn’t you notice the blizzard?

We sat down to do some paperwork, and Jim wrinkled up his nose. He must not be a smoker. I checked out the bare gray room as the caseworker shuffled through a stack of papers. Why did these meetings always take place in dark and dreary rooms? Didn’t they have enough light bulbs around here?


  1. I like this! I would read it. It’s nice to see another realistic story in the contest — good luck with it….

  2. Marieke says:

    This sounds wonderful–and potentially heartbreaking. Good luck with it! :)

  3. Megan Whitmer says:

    This is great- I really, really love the concept!! Good luck!

  4. Carrie-Anne says:

    This sounds like a really interesting twist on a foster care story! I also like the title.

  5. Hi Suzi, I’m stopping by from the Writer’s Voice Contest to wish you the best of luck! Nice to meet you.

  6. Jolene says:

    FAB premise.

    Love this idea.


  7. Becca C. says:

    This entry looks great! Good luck in the contest!

  8. SC Author says:

    Hey, stopping by to wish good luck! This is a realistic story, and I like the new perpective you take on a high school story. Good luck with the contest!

    SC (#159)

  9. I love this. I would totally read this. Excellent job. Good luck!!

  10. Great entry, Suzi! Best of luck. :)

  11. […] Post navigation ← Previous […]

  12. Yay!! Loved this so much and so glad you made it in! good luck! ferris #175

  13. I think I saw an earlier version of this query. This new one is great! Good luck!

  14. Still think this one deserves a pick. Suzi, I rewrote my 250 words — too late for the competition, but if you had a minute to look at it, I’d love your comments. Hope I’m not imposing– thank you!
    Anne #102

  15. I adore this concept. 😀 Best of luck!

  16. Melodie says:

    Great premises – definitely not a lot of YA deals with kids in foster homes AND realizing a person is gay. There’s definitely a market for this. Good luck, Suzi!!

  17. Krystalyn says:

    Love the idea! Good luck!

    Krystalyn #87

  18. Good luck!

    ~Nicole, entry 68

  19. Cupid says:


    I just have a few suggestions on it, but I really like the concept here! Also, a bit worried about the wc being a tad low! Could you raise it a bit. I’ve heard anything under 55,000 is a novella.

    But great! It’s great! Please join my team!!!!!

    • Suzi says:

      Thank you so much. I am so excited for this contest.

      Adding words. Probably not a problem. Usually I’m a little on the long side. :)

  20. Congratulations on getting picked! Best of luck to you as the contest continues! WVC #28

  21. Amy Rose says:

    This is awesome!! Congrats on being picked. I’m so excited to be on Team Cupid with you! 😀

  22. Kelley Lynn says:

    Congratulations Suzi!!! Yay!! :)

  23. Rebecca says:

    Congrats on being picked. Go Team Cupid!:) #166

  24. Ann Bedichek says:

    I love the sound of this, and your MC’s voice is awesome. “Kind of crappy outside. Did you notice the blizzard?”

    Yay Team Cupid!!

  25. […] entrants in The Writer’s Voice competiton hosted by to Krista, Cupid, Monica, and Brenda. This is my entry for FROSTY. The four ladies above picked 10 entries each, that they want to work with […]

  26. click here says:

    You should really moderate the remarks on this site

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