Sloppy Writing 101.17

Here are a few more sentences that contain an unnecessary word.

-I almost thought I should be a travel writer, except that I didn’t like to write.
-I didn’t tell her I thought it looked like fun.
-Those first two weeks, I thought she kept waiting for me to break down.
-The first time she had two questions but took the whole hour discussing the answer because she thought it was important.

Thought is the repeat offender.

FROSTY is written in first person, and Sydney is the narrator. In the above examples, either she is analyzing something another person has said or done, or she’s speaking about herself. Either way, I don’t need to use thought because we know Sydney is doing the thinking.

-I should be a travel writer, except that I didn’t like to write.
-I didn’t tell her it looked like fun.
-Those first two weeks she kept waiting for me to break down.
-The first time she had two questions but took the whole hour discussing the answer because it was important.

I deleted nine words from those four sentences. There are many legitimate places to use thought, but these ones could all go. So watch out for your thoughts.

4 Responses

  1. I definitely have unnecessary words in mine. I went through and took out all the “seem to”s. The walls seem to vibrate. The temperature seems to drop. Or whatever. Taking it out makes it that much more in-the-moment! Btw, I left you an award on my blog!!! 😀

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