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Sloppy Writing 101.20

July 6, 2012 by Suzi

A quick thank you to Lara Shiffbauer for the Fabulous Blog Ribbon. For this award you need to list 5 favorites of books, things you love & hate, and fabulous moments. Along with tagging 5 others. I’m gonna be lazy here and skip out because things are hectic around here, so please forgive me. But thank you Lara.

Back to Sloppy Writing.

Another unnecessary word I’ve found is around. Sometimes I can take it out because of redundancy, other times because it’s not needed.

Here are my examples from an old version of FROSTY.

-The snow swirled around and my wet hair lashed at my face.
(Well yeah, swirl means it’s going around—this is redundant.)

-I looked around the room, then towards the fireplace, the orange and blue flames danced around.
(Note I used it twice. First one okay. Second one redundant—danced means moving around.)

-Brooke spun around on her heels.
(Again, spun around is redundant.)

-That I liked being moved around from home to home.
(I can take the around out and it doesn’t change the meaning at all.)

-They want to introduce me around.
(Removing around doesn’t change the meaning.)

So watch out for your arounds and get rid of the unnecessary and redundant ones.


  1. Christa Desir says:

    I edit romance novels so one I find all the time that I constantly delete is:

    He crossed his arms over his chest.

    Over his chest? Where else would he cross his arms? It’s so overused, it’s almost laughable.

  2. Jenny Morris says:

    Hmm, I haven’t discovered any new words this week. Cute blog button.

    Have a great weekend.

  3. PK Hrezo says:

    Yep redundancy is always an offender, but after numerous times of revisions I usually find the little buggers. :)

  4. I don’t think I overuse “around,” but now I’m going to check after reading this. I have to delete “that,” “up,” and a few other words when I edit a draft.

  5. Emily R King says:

    A lot of these examples are redundancies that can be tricky to track. Thanks for the reminder to cut out unnecessary “arounds.”

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