Sloppy Writing 101.22

 - by Suzi

So I found another word I’ve been over-using.

Maybe.

Here are several examples from my current WIP The Proper Way to Say Goodbye.

-Maybe she could sit with a total stranger and spill all her deepest secrets, but I wouldn’t
(The maybe is unnecessary, because the mom does do that.)

-I haven’t had an attack for a long time. Thought maybe it might not be so bad.
(Unnecessary again.)

-My stomach twisted on the way over. Maybe this wasn’t a good idea.
(She knows it’s not a good idea, that’s why her stomach twists, so I don’t need the maybe.)

-Maybe if he’d called someone at a hotline, he might still be alive.
(Having maybe and might
is redundant. If I drop the maybe, nothing happens to the meaning.)

I have a few occurrences too where it sounds better to drop the maybe and make the sentence into a question. Because really, that’s what it is… a question in Chloe’s mind.

-Maybe Murphy would let me bunk at his house.
(Would Murphy let me bunk at the house with his friends?)

-Or maybe it was that she didn’t believe him.
(Didn’t she believe him?)

So I found lots of unnecessary/overused maybes. The other thing I did was to make maybe a word my main character Chlose uses. Her girlfriend Sasha now uses perhaps. And of course other people use maybe, but not as much as Chloe. So it was a good word to use to make her voice more distinct.

I never imagined maybe would go on my Sloppy Writing list, but not it’s one more word I’ll check my other manuscripts for too.

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