Sloppy Writing 101.24

FYI: I have a winner of the gift certificate from the other day. The guess which story is mine in the Christa Desir Band Camp flash fiction contest. My entry was #7.
Lynne Schmidt
She actually did not get it right, but actually nobody did. So I drew names from the ones who guessed. Your chances of winning were very high because most people forgot to put a guess down when they were giving me advice on the Lucky 8 Ball. So congrats to Lynne. We’ll be in contact.

Behind is a word I’ve seen on those lists of words to avoid. I’ve never really gotten why it’s bad, so I did a search of The Proper Way to Say Goodbye to see how I used it. I found 23. Not a ton. so I’m obviously not overusing it.

But they say to make every word count, so why not get rid of a few that are unnecessary. Here are a few examples I found.

-The door slammed shut behind me.
-The door clicked shut behind us
-I shut the door behind me, glad to see his roommate wasn’t around.
-I closed my door behind Faye.
-Sasha kissed the cat on her head and scratched behind her ears.

You’ll notice that most of my behind problems involve doors. In all these cases, it’s clear before-hand that she is going out or in a door. So really, I don’t need to use the behind.

And the last one with the cat, scratching its ears is sufficient. I don’t need behind the ears.

Overall I didn’t get rid of a huge amount of words, but I cleaned it up a little. Anything helps, I guess.

6 Responses

  1. That’s a great tip. I’ve never thought about deleting “behind” before, but I can see how it’s redundant. Thank you!

    And congratulations to Lynne, but aren’t you going to tell us which is yours? I’m so curious! 😀

  2. Rachel Schieffelbein

    That’s definitely one I hadn’t thought about. Hmm, I’ll have to search that out in mine. I’m curious now. 🙂

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