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Sloppy Writing 101.43

December 21, 2012 by Suzi

 
I found another word I used way too often. All.
 
A lot of times I just didn’t need it, and those extra Alls were cluttering up my manuscript. Below are my examples from the Proper Way to Say Goodbye.
 
-Read the story and give me all your comments and suggestions.
(What, did she think Chloe was only going to give her the first 2 comments and not the rest?)
 
-You know, your mom might be worried about you being all alone.
(Hmmm. Is all alone like way worse than just alone?)
 
-I jumped to my feet and threw all my stuff into my backpack as my tears thickened.
(She’s about to run, why wouldn’t she throw it all in?)
 
-But he wouldn’t ignore me, and we’d all have a fun time.
(She’s talking about 3 people. Why do I need all?)
 
-I appreciate all the extra time you’ve put in for me to get this done.
(So if I take out all, would that mean she only appreciated half of the extra time?)
 
So I deleted about 80 Alls. One thing I did was to leave the All in for Chloe’s voice. But with the other characters, I took it out.


3 Comments »

  1. Dana says:

    This is a big one for me!

  2. E.Arroyo says:

    For me it’s “yeah” All my characters say it. =)

  3. i use the word “look” a lot. i notice it and try to use other words but i just want to shout that it’s the word i need!!!

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